Matt Levine writes about getting paid to NOT work...

And that's the kind of business I'm trying to run. JK, but if someone wants to pay me to pet Roy and eat chocolate then, plz hmu. Also, mmm Popeyes... 

Food and Not Food Stuff.

One of my fundamental beliefs is that the best business model is getting people to pay you not to do something. A classic of the form is the old story that the great mergers-and-acquisitions lawyer Joe Flom "was so feared as an adversary that he was frequently paid handsome retainer fees by companies nervous about becoming takeover targets," just to keep him from working for a bidder. I probably first heard that story when I was a junior M&A lawyer working hundred-hour weeks actually doing deals, and the thought of being paid more money not to do deals has haunted me ever since.

Here is a Bloomberg News story about Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen posting better-than-expected same-store sales numbers last quarter because people really like late-night fried-chicken delivery. Here is a Bloomberg News story about how Silicon Valley startups are getting into the business—somehow it is a business—of fasting. “Not a fan of ‘late capitalism’ meme,” tweeted Matthew Klein of Barron's, “but seems appropriate to describe charging people hundreds of dollars just to tell them not to eat.” You can read the article to figure out how the startups are monetizing not-food—also, to figure out how this counts as “Silicon Valley”—but I prefer to just use my imagination. 

And what I particularly prefer to imagine is Popeyes getting into the fasting business. Sure people will apparently pay $17.99 for Popeyes to deliver them an eight-piece fried chicken meal, but what I want to know is, how much will people pay for Popeyes not to deliver them an eight-piece fried chicken meal? Because nothing will mess with your calorie-restriction plan like a bucket of fried chicken delivered to your house  at midnight. If not giving people food can be a business, surely it can be a lucrative bolt-on business for a company that is otherwise in the business of giving people food? Like if Popeyes charged $17.99 for chicken and $24.99 for no chicken, presumably same-store sales would skyrocket, and with essentially no increase in costs. Please invest in my ICO.